Holy COW. Quarter of a century. This birthday was a little different than previous years but in the best ways possible. If you would have told me a year ago I would be where I am at today I would’ve laughed in your face. You see a year ago we were living in Arizona and I remember the days leading up to my 24th birthday they were rough. I was crying in Rob’s arms and praying out loud to God saying these exact words, “I cannot do another year like this God. Why me. Why am I so depressed. What is wrong with me. Please please please God I need 24 to be better.” Then I looked up to Rob and told him, “I am so sorry I am like this. I really can’t do life like this anymore, I need this year to be better or I don’t know how much longer I can hang on.”
I woke up early this birthday, 4 AM early, and began my day by coaching at F45. I started my day at my job that brings me so much joy and I had two members give me the prettiest most delicious chocolate cake made in the shape of a 2 and 5. Then my husband, Rob, had a whole day planned out of activities and things for us to do. We took the dogs on a stroll along a trail on Lady Bird Lake and this is where we talked about the things I wanted to accomplish this year and we looked back at the last year and said, “I did not think I would be here today. I hoped to be better but I didn’t think this where life would have me today.” I got teary eyed.
Life is truly crazy. Life and God have a way of turning your pain into your purpose. There is so much uncertainty and in between all that is a crazy, beautiful mess. This has been the best year yet and I really mean it when I say I am excited for this next chapter in life. So I want to share a few things I learned this past year.
- I am ME. There is no one like me. I can either run for it or embrace it.
- I don’t need validation from others to love myself and be confident in who I am.
- No one is going to feel sorry for me so stop feeling sorry for yourself. Put your big girl panties on and conquer the one life you have.
- My pain is a part of your journey. I have a story to write and tell about.
- The world is not out to get you nor is it against you.
- Love your loved ones, hard. Friends, family, and dogs (mainly your pets. lol.)
- Be kind, even to those who may not deserve it.
- It’s OK to cut people out that no longer serve a purpose in my life.
- Pray about everything and anything. God is there for me not against me.
- I can take care of others while also caring for myself. Don’t forget to take care of me.
Thank you all for the birthday wish and sweet messages. I felt the love and I am so thankful for each of you.
Xo Natalie Z
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